Hurry to the Four Way Stop
by Tegan-Sebastian
Summary: Marco texts Jean to meet him at their usual spot. It's midnight and nothing good could happen...


I neared the four way stop we always met at and saw a dark figure step into the pathway of a huge-ass truck. And the truck didn't stop. It was supposed to and it didn't and I knew who that dark figure was. My heart lurched past my throat as I dropped my bag of food, sprinting dangerously fast to Marco. The truck raced past me and I saw a raised left hand of Marco's fall right before I reached him.

No no no no no, the inside of my head screamed. When I was within distance of seeing his eyes- his lifeless, dull eyes- I finally, really, saw his body. The truck crushed the upper right side of his body into nonexistence. It was gone. It was liquefied. It was pulverized. I could see the internal organs and oh my god I threw up all over the fucking place.

After I finished convulsing I raised a shaking hand to his head, "M-marco... Marco, Marco, Marco, no..." I choked, ending all possible voice usage. I could do nothing but let the sobs rack my body. Tears streamed down my face and fell onto his as I looked at him. I couldn't stop looking at him, even though he wasn't there anymore. I don't know how I could know he was gone just like that, how I could accept it, but it was truth. I cradled his body in my hands, not caring about the blood, then drenching my clothing.

I lost it, just lost it. Earlier that week he had told me how his greatest fear was that he would die alone.

* * *

Marco elbowed my ribs playfully after I put my arm around his waist, "Jean, what are you doing?" he blushed slightly, tilting his face up, suspicious.

"Just enforcing our bromance, dude. That, and everyone sees us, well, together," Jean and Marco had been best friends ever since they'd met, and everyone saw their friendship as peculiar. It was as if they were boyfriend and boyfriend without really being there. I had shrugged it off, saying that girl best friends were practically lesbian lovers.

"Yeah," Marco agreed, smiling shakily at him. "that's true." he didn't respond further, but he could have said, how many men do you see having as intense of a 'bromance' as ours? I could tell he looked a little crestfallen.

My arm still around Marco's waist, he stuck his tongue out at a gawking Eren, "Can't handle the homo, Jaeger?"

Eren rolled his eyes, "You wish. Just thinking about how much you're paying Bodt to do that shit with you."

"Hah! You wish it was you though!" I retorted, blood boiling.

"Tch," he simply responded, "I prefer women. Though... I guess you're close enough. I'd believe you have a pussy."

A quiet snicker came from around the circle of friends we were with..

I stood up, almost knocking Marco over. "You little fuck," I said angrily, gripping his hand into a fist, ready to fight. Marco slid up next to me, putting a hand on my fist.

"He isn't worth it, man. Just don't do it. If he wants to make an ass of himself, he can. You don't have to help him along because he can do it just fine alone."

"You're right," I spat, turning around and walking off. Once out of earshot I said, "Thanks, Marco... I dunno what I'd do without you, bro. I mean, I'm still pissed to hell with him," he shuddered, anger overpowering him for a moment, "but whatever. He ain't worth my time."

"What I said was true... he's an asshole of an idiot by himself," he shrugged. I nodded in agreement, fuming.

We went to my place after walking from the park where we had met up with Eren and all of our friends. The second I walked into the house I collapsed on the couch. After a long day of work and then dealing with shit at the park, I was spent.

Marco sat on the little bit of couch my long body didn't cover. "Oh, so I came over just to have you fall asleep on me? Gee, thanks... I feel appreciated," he teased. He seemed apprehensive, though.

"'M sorry, man. Long day," I sat straight. "What's up?"

He fidgeted a bit, blushing. He shook his head slightly, sitting still, and his demeanor changed, "Nothing really..."

"That's the biggest fucking lie if I've ever heard one, Marco." I didn't even need to say anything more.

"You're right. I don't know, have you ever thought about your own mortality?"

That was definitely not what I was expecting. "Not really? Why do you ask?"

"I've been thinking of what it would be like if I died right now. I have so much unfinished business, so many things I wouldn't want to lose even if it were to save worlds."

"That's... sort of selfish," I laughed nervously.

"It is. But I wouldn't want to give any of this up. My life, my family, my friends, my possessions, and, well, you," my heart skipped a beat," you're my best friend, Jean," my heart calmed a little bit, "and I don't know what I'd do without you. You've helped me more than even my family ever has. If I lost that, I don't know what would happen. You all mean so much to me. I have such comfort knowing I'm not alone," he paused and swallowed hard, "If I died alone I think that would be the worst way to go. because then, I would truly know I wasn't loved. Seeing your face would be the last thing I would want to see before dying. Because, what if there isn't anything after this life? If I died alone the last thing I would see is the ceiling, or the smog of the outdoors, it would be such a sad feeling. That's all the emotion I can place into it. Sadness at it peak, surrounded by loneliness."

He curled up into himself, face pale. My heart sunk hearing those words, his thoughts formulated into sentences. I pulled his body up and into a hug, wrapping my arms tightly around him. We sat there for a few minutes, his breathing ragged. There were no tears, because Marco, if anything, was damn strong. For him to confess this to me, though I wouldn't speak about this later, it meant a lot. And then I was thinking, the best way for me to comfort him would simply be to turn his face to mine and press my lips against his. But that would complicate things entirely too much. I couldn't do that to him. It was too fucking selfish of me to do that. There was no way I was ready to commit like that. I couldn't reel him in and cast him back out like he didn't matter. Not now. It was better to stay friends as we were.

* * *

I'd been on the couch all day, with nothing to do. Such was the life of a bachelor, I guess. Played video games. Ate food. Today was a rare day off work. And Marco had texted me he needed to see me. _Ill be there in a few min see you then_.

Marco wanted to tell me something. He wouldn't tell me over the goddamned phone, which meant it was important. I was feeling a sense of anticipation I shouldn't be feeling. I was feeling anxious, and not in the good way. I knew, just knew what he was going to say to me tonight. He wouldn't be asking me to come out unless it was important. It was fucking midnight and he'd been dodgy with texting me all day. It pissed me off so bad. I mean, if your best friend wouldn't tell you what was on their fucking mind, then why were you even friends? Christ, it was annoying. I narrowed my eyes unhappily as I thought back through the day.

I shrugged on my jacket and locked my door, putting my hands in my pockets. Not a few seconds later did I receive a text. I pulled out my phone, unlocking it and reading his text,_ Alright, and, I'm sorry I've been so weird today. I've had a lot on my mind..._ I chuckled dryly to myself, it was as if he'd read my mind. I responded,_ K thats fine just let me know when i see you i guess_ and put my phone back in my pocket.

As I walked, I stopped by a gas station to pick up some goods. He wouldn't mind. He'd be laughing and saying, "Jean, whatever gets you through the day. You'd better have gotten me something good, though." And I would. I picked up some of those giant ass Reese's- the ones that cost a buck-fifty a piece. They were his favorite. He'd pop one in his mouth right fucking then and there. And I'd get pissed at him for wasting my money, and he did it just to annoy me. I picked up two bottles of Mountain Dew, because I knew he liked it too.

I paid for what I picked up and walked out the door. If he confessed his love to me, I don't know what I'd do. I would lose my shit, that's for sure. But I couldn't respond likewise. If I did it would hurt him more in the long run than if I said no. I was so scared of losing him as a friend if he and I ever, I don't know, went out. And knowing me, I'd lose him just as soon as I got him. I suck at relationships. I suppose I'd have to think on the spot because I was nearing the four way stop we usually met at.

* * *

**If only I had hurried.**


End file.
